The Fear of Dormancy

What if you need a ticket to get in the final show? Or the creator’s a superhero, and you can’t get saved unless you cry out in distress? There’s so much groveling I’ve learned to suppress. Fingers skip hot lava on tiny black stones, and I’m not sure they’ll make it out before the stone wall is closed. I’m a vase walking around without a bouquet. The fear of emptiness and mediocrity. Yes, there are too many ways to not escape. On dry days, I’m terrified of my own company, convinced that the bulbs I’ve planted may never grow.

The bulb of self-doubt

planted in the off-season;

fear is flowering.

Frank is host for d’Verse’s Hiabun Monday and the topic is fear. Join us in sharing a haibun poem inspired by fear.

33 responses to “The Fear of Dormancy”

Masa

The haiku was beautiful, but the final lines of your prosery is what really struck me: On dry days, I’m terrified of my own company, convinced that the bulbs I’ve planted may never grow.

Ugh, I am envious of such beautiful writing. Splendid.

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1. K.Hartless
  
  Many thanks. There are days I feel like I’m spinning my wheels. I’m glad this resonated with you. Cheers!
  
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msjadeli

So many creepy crawlies in here that can make your skin squirm to get away. I like the image you chose and love the concluding haiku. It does work just like that!

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1. K.Hartless
  
  Thank you very much. Trying to fill that empty vase with beauty every day can be exhausting.
  
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  1. msjadeli
    
    You’re very welcome.
    
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Ain Starlingsson

Well that was very nicely done— straight from the beginning.

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1. K.Hartless
  
  Thank you, Ain. Got something right today, at least. 😊
  
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  1. Ain
    
    I think it goes further than that. I felt the anguish, and that line of not being saved unless crying in distress stayed with me..my comment was a bit bland, but that’s coz I related too uncomfortably with what was being said!
    
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Ron.

Fine haibun w/ a perfect haiku closer. Congrats.

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1. K.Hartless
  
  Thank you kindly, Ron. It’s all about the endings, no?
  
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Jeff Flesch

Wow, there is so much feeling and emotion here, K. The words are dripping with it, and the flow of the poem is lovely. Wonderfully created.

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1. K.Hartless
  
  Thank you very much, Jeff. Found it easy to just speak from that place of failure. 😊
  
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  1. Jeff Flesch
    
    You’re most welcome, K. Understood, and I’m glad you did. Talking about failure is important. Have a lovely week. ☺️
    
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Frank J. Tassone

Oh, the fear of inadequacy and nothingness is palpable in this haibun. I especially love these lines: “Fingers skip hot lava on tiny black stones, and I’m not sure they’ll make it out before the stone wall is closed. / I’m a vase walking around without a bouquet.”

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1. K.Hartless
  
  Thank you, Frank. Fear is a wide and deep topic, but it was good to wade in and see what surfaced. Thanks so much for reading.
  
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abigfatcanofworms

Powerful imagery. And so relatable! I love your comment too (to msjadeli) that trying to fill the vase with beauty every day is exhausting. The haiku is exquisite. And like the first commenter, I love the last line of your prosery.

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1. K.Hartless
  
  Thank you so much, worms. I put a lot of pressure on myself. Sometimes, I need to just refill my own vase just for the beauty of it.
  
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  1. abigfatcanofworms
    
    Yes, I have panics every few months that I have somehow spewed out all my creativity out and I will be dried up forever more.
    
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  2. writingwhatnots
    
    The fear of what ifs stalks us all doesn’t it and I love the images you’ve given us to illustrate yours. Wonderfully expressed K.
    
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  3. K.Hartless
    
    Many thanks. For me, it’s difficult to gauge when I should push myself and when I should give myself a break. I think for me it has always been the forging of my own path through the thickest brush I can find. View’s good on the other side, though. 😉
    
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rothpoetry

This is very well done. Such distress! I love this line…. I’m a vase walking around without a bouquet.

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1. K.Hartless
  
  Thanks you, Dwight. Try to keep those worries at bay and just keep doing what I love, which is write, but the self-doubt is a struggle for me.
  
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  1. rothpoetry
    
    It happens to all of us at times. Keep it positive!
    
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Dora

Beautifully expressed, K. This line especially poignant: “There’s so much groveling I’ve learned to suppress”, hinting at how past vulnerability has perhaps accomplished little except chip away at self-worth. Only the charmed few can’t identify.
pax,
dora

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Yvonne Osborne

“On dry days I’m terrified of my own company.” Beautiful prose

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paeansunplugged

A very poetic haibun! Beautifully expressed and the haiku was exquisite.

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1. K.Hartless
  
  Thank you very much. These haibun topics always seem to send me reeling, in a good way. I appreciate you reading and commenting. There were so many great ones this time.
  
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Helen Dehner

No one, no one … will ever call you ’empty.’ Well done.

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1. K.Hartless
  
  Thank you very much, Helen. This super sweet comment brought a big smile to my face.
  
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Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

So much existential angst in your prose. What you need is the affirmation, and we are here to give it to you… well done.

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1. K.Hartless
  
  Thank you kindly, Björn. I am grateful for the wide arms of the dVersians and how this group embraces the many different voices and styles of their poets. Affirmation feels good. 🙂
  
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purplepeninportland

So well written, with a stellar haiku!

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1. K.Hartless
  
  Thank you. 😀
  
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