I went from white womb to buttery rectangular living. A corn-colored carpet, below a honey countertop, with a cut glass ashtray like a hive, my mother’s flaxen fingernails tap, taps, tapping her smoke rising, garland around our Christmas tree. The multi-color lights blink, blinks, blinking behind tingly tinsel. Quiet evenings, my sister pull, pulls, pulling my daffodil dress. She never wanted me to learn to walk, but through the window I can see a dijon drain that drip, drips, dripping water on the gravel driveway. All white stones in this neighborhood. And they crunch, crunches, crunching under the steps of my father’s boots home from the night shift just in time to give us a smile and catch a banana sunrise. It was some people’s vacationing, but it was my home.

One thousand square feet;
every rectangle’s the same
just a larger womb.


Artwork Mobile Acres Lane by Joyce M Jacobs

This piece was written for d’Verse’s Monday Haibun challenge. Lillian tasked us with writing into our earliest memories, without using photos or stories told to us, and then crafting a Haibun.

A HAIBUN IS:  1 to 3 succinct prose paragraphs that must be a true accounting, not fiction, followed by a haiku (three lines, 5-7-5 syllables, that includes a seasonal reference and has a direct or subtle relationship to your prose paragraphs, without condensing or summarizing them). This time you do not necessarily have to follow the Japanese tradition of including a kigo or kireji in your haiku. If you’d like to strictly follow that Japanese tradition, look back at my dVerse New Year’s Haibun prompt on January 4th this year for an explanation of those terms.

48 responses to “Trailer’d”

  1. Hi hun,
    Top Haibun!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. It was a worthy exercise, but lots of feelings rise from it. I’m very glad you enjoyed it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It was very cleverly written, particularly the repetitiveness in the sentences. Is there a posh name for that technique?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yes, but it sounds like a bad bug you wouldn’t want to catch. Verbal anaphora. 🤣🤣

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Thanks for the education. It was very cleverly written.🙂

        Like

  2. I never really paid attention to these before. I never heard of a “dijon drain” before but it struck me as a brilliant work combination.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. Apparently there’s many ways to say yellow, which is the main memory I have of my first family home; we moved before my little sister was born. Not enough space for three girls 😂😂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. yellow – isn’t it strange, fashion?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. If the 70s were a color, it would be mustard. And since this poem is early 80s I’m sure this. Trailer was a 70s construction.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I forget exactly what decor my parents had, but remember it was garish 🤣. I think I remember a bright orange carpet at one point. There was definitely a room with banana-yellow walls.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Did it have lead paint just like mine?

        Liked by 1 person

      5. 🤣 As long as you didn’t eat off it!

        Liked by 1 person

      6. I just chewed the peeling radiator 😉 you know, the things kids like to do 🤣😂

        Liked by 1 person

      7. Oh well, no lasting damage. Possibly!

        Liked by 1 person

      8. I didn’t really chew any radiator, don’t worry~~~at least not that I’m aware of, anyways.

        Liked by 1 person

      9. I definitely remember ours eating out of the cat’s bowl! (But I’m sure they were tasty morsels in deliciously rich gravy)

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  3. This line has a punch to it. ” It was some people’s vacationing, but it was my home.” And then the haiku….adds a lot. Your use of different shades of the color yellow in your choice of words….and the repetition. It’s like your memories are chasing each other….stream of consciousness writing the memories that pop in your head. Growing up in a trailer would be quite different from my growing up in a house. The additional detail of your father coming home from working the late shift and giving a smile….as well as your choice of words like “daffodil” and banana sun tell me there was love here. These are memories making you smile. 🙂 They make me smile. Thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Lillian. There was a lot of live in my childhood. I have hardworking parents, and they taught me to be kind and determined.

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  4. love the images, the lyricism of this 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks, John. It’s exhausting to write about oneself. Much easier to pen fiction.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. I just love how you use repetition for all those sounds… it sounds like a different place to grow up in and the fact that it was a vacation place I can almost imagine the difference between seasons in a place like that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Björn. The sounds on the roof were intense, snow, ice, animals. We moved when I was little as my other sister was on the way. 1,000 square feet not going to cut it.

      Like

  6. Beautiful!!!!! I 😘 be it!!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Damn it. Phone interjection.the second sentence is supposed to say “I love it”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. I got the same lovely message from both emoji and text.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Beverly Crawford Avatar
    Beverly Crawford

    Interesting to me that most of the memories I’ve read so far go back to rather simple beginnings. My husband and I raised two children in our 1000 sq ft, one bathroom pre-fab house! Enjoyed your haiku too!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, well, my parents were babies making babies. They are very successful now, but they had nothing back then. Thank you for reading and commenting.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. So beautiful!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Lucy.

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Shapes, colors, smells, your poem is a sensory extravaganza. As a small child we pay a lot more attention to them because they’re new, I think. The repetition really works well in this and further lifts the words into 3D life. The sister pulling on your dress and your dad’s affectionate homecoming elevate it even further. Beautiful!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for all this positive feedback. Almost thought to not post it, but it was good for me, the remembering and the posting.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My pleasure. Very glad you did!

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Marvelous recall & retell, KH. I esp like the way you play with the verbs. I was there with you, which I guess is the point, eh? Great stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Ron. I’m glad my words could get you here. I appreciate your kind comments

      Like

  12. What great memories! Your yellow theme works well. Such good images throughout your Haibun!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Dwight. Yellow was the main memory and kinda ties in the tar-stained, smoky space. I appreciate your kind comments.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are welcome!

        Like

  13. Nice write K and I loved how you imparted action via repetition — well executed!

    Like

  14. An evocative piece of writing rounded off with a great haiku! I remember staying in my uncle’s caravan over the summer, and I loved it, but I’m sure it could feel cramped if it was all year round.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Ingrd. I was so little, it still felt big, you know? We moved when my little sister was on the way, so I was still very small.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. OMG. I don’t think I can count how many things I love about this haibun… including the sound effects, the colors, the.. just everything. It really felt like seeing the world through the eyes of a child!

    Yours,
    David

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, David. Very kind words to greet me this am.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. I like this. It reminds me so much of a book I loved when I was a child about a girl growing up in Australia, moved around with her parents in a trailer and how she dreamed of having a ‘real’ home like other kids. I thought she was mad…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Jane. I’m so glad you liked this. Can’t make this kind of funky fun up, right? Appreciate your comment.

      Like

      1. My parents told me I once hid for hours under the piano and they had the police and the fire brigade out searching for me. I remember nothing about it at all. Shame probably 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oops, this reply was to another comment! Sorry. I’ve just been searching for the name of the book that I loved so much. Seems to have more or less sunk without trace. The House that Guilda drew, if you’re interested 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  17. This is an incredibly lovely Haibun … as is the art that accompanies it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your kind words, Helen. This assignment was very personal, but it felt right to share.

      Like

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