Naïve Taker

Lisa wound her hand around Matthew’s throat. His cough was worsening despite the pills and the nebulizer treatments.

“Try your best to keep breathing,” she said.

“I’ve been doing that all day.” His smile had a bluish tinge.

Lisa tightened her grip. The boy didn’t have much time. After a few seconds, her lungs filled with fluid, and the boy’s ballooned open.

When a cough seized her, she went to the sink to spit out some wobbly, yellow phlegm. She was a naïve taker, though. Her powers were immature. She could absorb the cough, but not the underlying Pertussis.

Artwork: Katie Kut

This 99-word flash was submitted to the Carrot Ranch Literacy Community for the August Story Challenge which asks writers to feature the word immature.

23 responses to “Naïve Taker”

johnlmalone

this one interested me because I have trouble at times with niggling throat clearing; the first 4 lines in particular gripped me; I had to look up ‘Pertussis’ of course 🙂

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  Thank you, John. I was hoping for a menacing to medicinal turn, but I’m not sure it’s quite there in 99 words.
  
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  1. johnlmalone
    
    true; I didn’t ‘get’ the last few sentences —
    
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John

Robo, eh? 🤭

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  I wasn’t thinking automaton or anything like that with this one. More of a human with special powers. Laying hands on somebody is mystical, but not so far gone, I suppose.
  
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  1. John
    
    Okay, that’s what came to mind when reading this, I was off. 🤭
    
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  2. K.F. Hartless
    
    No worries. I think automaton healers could be wildly popular, as well. We should pocket that idea.
    
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Lobolopez

💯

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  Thank you. I appreciate this.
  
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MiamiMagus

That’s fascinating.

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  Thank you. She could be an interesting character. I appreciate you reading this flash.
  
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  1. MiamiMagus
    
    Always, yes I would love to see this as a story. Does it exist as a story?
    
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  2. K.F. Hartless
    
    Well, not yet. I guess I need to get started on that, don’t I? I finished a story earlier this week, so maybe it’s time for this one.
    
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  3. MiamiMagus
    
    Have you done the research on that stuff?
    
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  4. K.F. Hartless
    
    Well, I’ve studied Reiki a bit, which is similar. I’m a religion buff, so I know about laying hands on people from my studies as well. I’d think researching this particular topic could uncover equal amounts fact and fiction. I’d likely to a dive in/dive out to write the story to avoid getting in over my head. 😉
    
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  5. MiamiMagus
    
    Reiki is good. But I would research Shamanism. Shamanic science teaches that diseases are a type of spirit. So the spirit is absorbed or exorcised in the spirit realm. Even before the actual physical part of the illness is treated.
    
    To ensure it will die when it does get treated physically. Shamans and other types of Priests will actually absorb curses into their own bodies. So will certain types of psychic healers. For example, I have known Empaths in my life who have healed people who had trauma. By sucking the trauma out of the person, or draining it.
    
    Some even fed off of it. Like a benevolent vampire. There’s also rituals and spells that do similar things. But with spirits absorbing the disease or pain. Most of the time healers have to ground and cleanse like hell to make sure what they take doesn’t stay inside of them.
    
    Unfortunately, that doesn’t always work. Which is why women are not allowed to do healings on other women in Santeria. It’s all Gender swapped. Because if a man absorbs a woman’s disease, it can’t manifest inside of a man the way it could in another woman. And vice versa. So the thinking is that eventually if the disease remains inside the male healer, it will be forced to die.
    
    Of course there are some illnesses that manifest in both men and women. So those have a 50/50 shot of possibly manifesting within either kind of healer.
    
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  6. K.F. Hartless
    
    Thank you. So informative and helpful, actually. I will definitely look in to the shamanism you mention and the grounding and cleansing needed to clear the absorbed illness. I am grateful for you sharing your wisdom.
    
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  7. MiamiMagus
    
    These are just things I have come across here and there. The true wisdom would come from speaking to an Elder from another culture. They all have their own version of healers who do that.
    
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Colleen M. Chesebro

Ohhh, this was good! Great use of the word!

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  Thank you, Colleen. I saw first on your site. I’m really glad I had time to pen this yesterday evening.
  
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Experience Film

That’s one heroic healer. Reminds me of the Giver (but opposite)🙏🏼🤲🧎🏽‍♀️❤️

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  Yes, so true. A taker has to live with what she or he takes. It’s a blessing but a curse. Thanks so much for commenting on this one. 💜
  
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D. Avery @shiftnshake

I think you did well to show her skill/curse in 99 words. A most interesting take on the prompt.

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