Breakdown

Poetry

Breakdown

Katie Frances Hartless

anxiety, dVerse, ekphrasis, health, Nirvana, suffering

I’m broken down,

but I can still bend.

I’m listening

to words you rescind.

The teardrops in the drain

are hardly a downpour.

The fickle fall of rain

is hardly a clean source.

When the head gasket’s blown

take a torch to the engine.

I’ll stick around,

a rodent on your back porch,

and watch the flames of your suffering.

Anger is a gas can without end.

Check the DSM manual while

I caulk the wipers

to keep fighting for you,

patch the crack in the windshield,

keep fighting for you,

the extra miles drove on fumes

fighting for you,

riding the clutch

for you,

jumpstarting

you.

d’Verse Poet’s Pub | Happy Birthday, Kurt Cobain

Cover Art: Anthony Lebedev

28 responses to “Breakdown”

msjadeli

I feel the agony of love and that fear that nothing will stop what’s ahead 😦 Very effective technique on dropping words off of the lines.

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  Thank you so much, Lisa. I wasn’t sure how that was going to work out, but I like how it sort of lead to a life-saving attempt.
  
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  1. msjadeli
    
    You’re very welcome, K.
    
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Melissa Lemay

I can feel the mind’s chaos and the sad irony of jumpstarting the destruction one last time. Really good.

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  Thanks, Melissa. This was so much fun, and an eerie assignment as this song had been in my head all day.
  
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  1. Melissa Lemay
    
    Wow – synchronicity at its finest. I’m glad it was fun.❤️
    
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Michele Lee

Love your poetry, K! Excellent metaphor, among other engaging elements. 👏🏻

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  Thank you, Michele. This song has a way of lodging itself in my brain, so it was good to sort of try and capture a bit of its essence in this poem. I’m so glad you found it engaging.
  
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  1. Michele Lee
    
    You’re welcome. I do understand that experience. 🎶
    
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Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

Love hurts… yes a song, and also a reality.

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  Indeed. Life and love. I think this song has so much self-sabotage in it, which I really tried to capture as well.
  
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kim881

A stunning broken down car metaphor, extended right through to the jumpstart. I love the irony, the sound and rhythm of:
‘The teardrops in the drain
are hardly a downpour’
and
‘the extra miles drove on fumes
fighting for you,
riding the clutch
for you’.

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  Thank you so much, Kim. I think of those breakdowns that flame out and the others we can’t really see until it’s too late, as was the case with the talented Curt Cobain.
  
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The Cheesesellers Wife

I love your metaphor, how it enriches your poem. Your use of line breaks oulls me along. Well done!

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  Many thanks. I wanted to sort of sputter out.
  
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Helen

An amazing / stunning interpretation of the music, a video/piece I had not seen/listened to prior to Melissa’s challenge.

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  Thank you so much, Helen. I appreciate your kind comments. This song really gets lodged in your head, so be careful.
  
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memadtwo

Trying to stop a runaway train…everything all at once. I can feel it. (K)

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  Indeed. It’s all going and then all gone wrong. Thank so much for connecting with my poem, K.
  
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Astrid

I love this poem, it’s so rough and yet so touching as well.

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K.F. Hartless

Thank you kindly, Astrid. This poem was raw, and I’m so pleased you found it impactful.

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dorahak

Brilliant use of metaphor to “drive” home your point: love the acceleration of the pace as the passion, love takes over to boiling point, “fighting for you.” So good, K.F. Loved it!! 😍

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  Thank you kindly, Dora. I really appreciate your message and encouragement. Cheers. Happy Friday!
  
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  1. dorahak
    
    Happy Weekend! 😃
    
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Lia

This is so good. One of those poems that get the chemistry of the body activated while reading.

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  Many thanks, Lia. This song has always had this weird sort of spell over me. I think this poem helped me finally release it. Cheers!
  
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Yvonne Osborne

The repeating “you” towards the end works. Narrowing the focus. “Jumpstarting you, fighting for you” I wonder if that was his band, his family.

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K.F. Hartless

Thanks, Yvonne. I do intensely avoid the 2nd person, but I think this one is about those close to us breaking down and how we do everything we can imagine to try and keep them going or prevent them from going up in flames. I appreciate you reading my poem and taking the time to leave a comment as well. Kind regards, K.

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