Left Cold

brevity, cozy-mystery, nature, prosery, relationships, thriller

Ava leaned over the deck to give Marty a full cleavage view, the one she’d worn the cocktail dress to expose.

“We might even see constellations, Marty. Imagine it. If we get going soon, we might see the stars!” Ava shouted for effect.

Too busy with his book to look up, Marty replied. “What does it matter that…”

“the stars we see are already dead? I know. You’ve told me a billion times, but just because something’s dead doesn’t mean it can’t glow.

Marty flipped a discolored page.The disease had spread to his swollen eyelids. His white trousers swayed like a crescent moon from the hammock below.

Time was waning.

Ava could smother him with her bosom and he probably wouldn’t feel it.

Marty and her were already dead. They may have never been aligned, but the truth of it left her cold.

d’Verse Poet’s Pub | Prosery – Amy Woolard

144 words to include lines from Amy Woolard’s poem, “Laura Palmer Graduates.”

What does it matter
That the stars we see are already dead.

40 responses to “Left Cold”

John

Wow. I am sad for them both.

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  Yes, I know. And it started so cheerily. Thanks for reading this one, John.
  
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  1. John
    
    You’re welcome, K. ❤️
    
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  2. Nicole Smith
    
    wow, short, poignant, sad, you packed it in.
    
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johnlmalone

terrific piece: great descriptions, moving and sad

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  Thank you. It was an easy write, if there is such a thing. I enjoyed crafting this one.
  
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  1. johnlmalone
    
    I’m glad we’re commenting on each other’s work 🙂
    
    LikeLiked by 1 person
  2. K.F. Hartless
    
    Me, too. I always want to. But like is a barrier sometimes.
    
    LikeLiked by 1 person
  3. johnlmalone
    
    the main thing is, K, it’s working now 🙂
    
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dorahak

What a wonderful write, K., especially how you tie the “dead stars” to their dead love which has not even a “glow” left. That she is left wondering if their relationship had ever been “aligned” makes it even sadder, especially as the scene seemed off to a half-humorous, half-cheery start.

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  Thanks, Dora. I didn’t know wherever was going, but I like the chills it gave me to finish it up. I appreciate you reading it and leaving me such a thoughtful comment.
  
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  1. dorahak
    
    Delighted to do so! Funny how some stories just take shape almost unwittingly.
    
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  2. K.F. Hartless
    
    I like to have faith they all will, but each time it happens it still surprises me.
    
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pandamoniumcat

So much story compacted into 144 words, wonderfully written. So sad how lives entwine but not quite with that magic.

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  Thank you. I agree. The magic that’s just out of reach, or so it feels. I appreciate you reading and commenting on my prosery.
  
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kim881

I agree with Dianne – you packed so much into your Prosery! I like the way it starts so upbeat, with Ava intent on seducing Marty, and the way the story turns on Marty flipping the discoloured page, revealing the deadly disease. I love the simile ‘his white trousers swayed like a crescent moon from the hammock below’. I agree with Dora about tying the dead stars to their dead love, and Ava wondering if their relationship had ever been aligned does make it even sadder.

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  Thank you, Kim. We have sort of have the hammock deck set up here, but I am usually the one who’s got my nose stuck in a book. I’m so glad you enjoyed my prosery.
  
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  1. kim881
    
    My pleasure!
    
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Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

It sounds like there is not much time left… what is really the best way to make the best of an end.

At least she tries…. but not easy.

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  Yes, it’s hard to say. I love a good adventure, but the quiet life is calling these days. I appreciate you reading and commenting on my prosery, Björn. Here’s to making the most of every day…just in case.
  
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msjadeli

The fabric of the dysfunction is well-woven. The turn with Marty’s eyes is excellent. Love how you broke up the line to be part of a dialogue.

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  Thank you, Lisa. I liked playing with that and also the idea of endings. I really appreciate your comments. Thank you. 🙏
  
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  1. msjadeli
    
    You’re very welcome, K.
    
    LikeLiked by 1 person
  2. K.F. Hartless
    
    💜
    
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Helen

This is a spooky prosery … would love to know more about Marty and Ava!!! Well done.

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  Thank you, Helen. It gave me a sort of outbreak, vibe, but I like to imagine what might happen to Marty or Ava when the disease takes hold. Perhaps transformation for some kind.
  
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Dale

I, too, love how you broke up the line between the two conversations. This piece is so well-woven, Karla. A sad tale, though.

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  Thank you so much, Dale. I decided I wanted to do something a bit different. Glad to hear it worked well for you. Oh, I actually go by Katie as a nickname.
  
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  1. Dale
    
    You did it so very well! Oh! I am so sorry. Katie it is! Why did I think it was Karla? Apologies!
    
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  2. K.F. Hartless
    
    Thank you and no worries. I have a lot of K’s in my family. Lot’s of nicknames as well. I go by KK, Kay, Katie.
    
    LikeLiked by 1 person
  3. Dale
    
    Oh d’oh! I just realised… I inadvertently confused you with with another who goes by her initials… hers are L.K. 🤦‍♀️
    K.F. = Katie! 🙂
    
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V. Sparrow

Definitely a great response to the prompt!

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  Thank you so much, V.
  
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  1. V. Sparrow
    
    You are most welcome!
    
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Jim

A bosom viewing wasted on this guy. Do you remember the 70’s flashing days. Especially at a Mardi Gras parade? But it was at traffic stops and all kinds of places back then.

..

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  I’m an eighties baby, but it sounds like a riotous good time. I could of have her full moon flash, but well, maybe next time. Thanks for stopping by, Jim.
  
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merrildsmith

Oh, so sad–it took a twist from the opening. Well done, K!

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1. K.F. Hartless
  
  Thank you, Merril. It sure did, and not at all what I was thinking when I started out, but I love the small bite that is prosery. I appreciate your popping by and leaving me this kind comment.
  
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  1. merrildsmith
    
    You’re very welcome!
    
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pvcann

I did not see that coming. It made for a wonderful read, I like the twist as it brought me up short and made me think.

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