From the window I watch waves like the ones you’d see on an angry lake swell and overtake a stop sign. Squirrels scurry to a higher branch, but when their bark breaks, the passengers sink quickly below the muddy surface.

A knock on the door interrupts the rising moan. Through the peephole, a wet rucksack beside a familiar face.

“What you want?” I shout, and then add, “I got nothing.” My neighbor tells me he needs shelter, a place to stay, and I contemplate letting him in, but with the long darkness ahead, I’m too afraid to unlatch the door. 

He leaves when the first muddy stream seeps into the hallway leaking into my apartment. I try to push it back with the broom. I won’t stand up against Katrina, so I pray to God that she may lie forever with an unopened eye.


d’Verse Poet’s Pub | Prosery Forever with unopened eye

144 words to include Edgar Allen Poe’s “I pray to go that she may life/forever with an unopened eye” taken from “The Sleeper.”

Cover Art: Eye of the storm by Maria Arango 

Brandi Carlile “The Eye”

26 responses to “An Unopened Eye”

  1. I could feel the fear and the anxiety. May it never come to pass for you in non-fiction.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Lisa. I have been in a pretty severe hurricane, actually, but not Katrina. I wouldn’t wish it on anybody.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re very welcome. I’ve been in bad windstorms and those are bad enough. Can’t imagine a hurricane 😦

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  2. A very creative approach to the prompt. Love the end twist!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Dwight. I really appreciate your comment. I tried to hold back to get that twist in.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It worked very well!

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I love the drama in this; the disintegrating landscape: I assume it’s Hurricane Karina you’re writing about ?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, indeed. I’m very glad that theme came across. I wanted it there, but not in your face. I appreciate your kind comments, John.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. It didn’t cross my mind to write about the eye of the storm. What a good idea! And you pull it off really well, giving little bits and building anticipation to the end.

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    1. Thank you ever so much, Lisa. I’m glad it kept you guessing.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I love your take on the prompt line, Katie. I would never have thought of the eye of a storm. I especially enjoyed the description in the opening paragraph, so realistic, and then the terror when the ‘first muddy stream seeps into the hallway’.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for this kind feedback, Kim. I thought of the storm right away with the one eye, and I tried my best to capture a frightening flash.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My pleasure, Katie.

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  6. Eye of the hurricane – great idea. Your story began like an apocalyptic sci-fi. Really nice.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Debi. I’m so glad that first line caught your imagination. It certainly was post-apocalyptic sort of stuff.

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      1. Scary

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  7. Such a unique take! I could feel the fear.

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    1. Thanks, Merril. Hurricanes can be quite ferocious, so I’m glad this piece captured just a bit of the terror.

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      1. You’re welcome! We’ve had some scary storms here in NJ–and I had relatives in Miami who experienced some ferocious hurricanes.

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  8. And you may wonder if the neighbor was better off in the end if he left for higher ground,

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes. I do wonder if the man could survive long enough for a rescue or perhaps another neighbor’s door became safe harbor. Thanks, Björn.

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  9. pulsating fear. Eye of the storm. Devastating. How well you did this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Selma. The storm I survived was nowhere near the ferocity of Katrina, but I got a glimpse of the one-eyed beast. I appreciate your kind words very much.

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  10. Katie, this felt terrifying! These storms are so horrible now. Great write!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. They can be quite shocking in their devastation. Thanks, Colleen. I’ve been in the storm but never the eye.

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      1. We’ve been through a hurricane. It’s eerie when you’re under the eye of the storm. It gets silent until the other side of the side of the storm hits. It’s very unnerving.

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